Who decided that the fact that knowing that Ag is an exception in regular electron configurations would be valuable knowledge for those of us who do not plan on being a future Gilbert Lewis?

So many questions come to mind when professors drop these little gems in lectures expecting you to gather them in your memory and store them for future reference when the need may arise. I mean how many times has someone asked you: “Oh, what’s the name of that alternative sweetener that  has prebiotic properties and is 30-50% as sweet as syrup sugars…?”. Of course that happens all the time! So you will fondly reply: “Well fructooligosaccharides of course!”

The truth is, 90% of what I am learning/ have learned/will learn in school will most likely not only be forgotten after the test on said subject, but also will never be needed when I join the world of “workin’ folk”. It is kinda nice to have some big old words to throw around when I feel a need to impress: “Yeah, this is marvelous ham, it’s pigment is very nitrosyl hemochrome I’d say…” But generally, who has a need for words so ridiculously large and confusing in normal day conversation?

And what about those college labs? Those ones that are 3 hours long and consist of  pouring X mixture into Y mixture and watching it foam green goo that reeks of sulfur and other nauseating smells. Unless your future dreams including being a biochemist or Bill Nye then you wont find much to take away.

So here’s to all the junk you learn in college, enjoy it and try to retain a little, it’s always fun to drop random knowledge at a dinner party, later in life when you don’t have any use for words like nitrosyl hemochrome and fructooligosaccharides.

Any of you parents who have had the chance to participate in parent’s weekend were surely happy to see your kid doing well; working hard, rushing from a healthy lunch in the dining hall with you to a freshman science course across campus, to a mid afternoon study session. Who wouldn’t be proud of such an outstanding student who will some day become an outstanding adult? You walk around campus admiring the silence of academia. Ahh, what more can Ma or Pop ask for? When your child returns to the dorm, enlightened with the knowledge of learned professors, they will lead you to the dorm room. It’s a picture of perfection; spotless plates stack organized shelves, pillows rest on a made bed, and are those pressed dress shirts hanging in that closet? What a sterile living environment! Next you will meet the friends, and what lovely friends they have! They all great you as Mr. or Mrs. such-and-such, and give a shake of the hand, how classey are they?!

So after dinner, where you notice the wide array of vegetables tracing the plates of your offspring, they will yawn, thank you for coming, but point out that they have a lot of studying to do and “there are only so many hours left before beeed time!” Kisses and hugs all around, and good night to all.

So in all, you and your spouse enjoy a fantastic weekend and think, maybe this place is worth $20,000?

And so comes the week following, Monday, Tueday, Wednesday rolls around, Thursday, test on Friday…and Friday night.

Your son/daughter wakes up from a mid afternoon nap, checking their watch, oh look, Chemistry class ends in 15 minutes… With a yawn they swing their legs off the bed, careful to not disturb the pile of clothes or the drunk kid that are lying on the floor.

“Hmmm.” They sigh, wondering who exactly that drunk kid is who is spread eagle across your dirty laundry and bits and pieces of trash.”Whateve’.”

So it’s about 3:00pm, time for breakfast. In the dining hall they go up to the salad bar…yep, there’s the cheese sauce, what’s it doing next to the broccoli? Euh.

After a meal off Cheese fries, 2 patty melts, half a hamburger, and a bowl of Lucky Charms they commence their studies, starting with math.

“So, if Janice has three beers at 10 o’clock, a shot at 11, and a glass of gas $3 wine at 2, just how much alcohol did she consume?”

After all those studies your kid sure needs a break.

“Real World anyone?”

And it’s a t.v. marathon! What a long night!

Boy, it sure is late, and if your student wants to be up by noon to make the last 20 minutes of their poli sci class they are going to need to get to bed now!

They make thier way back to their dorm, making sure to text all the way home! Don’t forget to walk infront of cars as slowly as possible making positively sure that you DO NOT EVER use the cross walk! Winners walk jaywalk!

And as they reach their dorm room, hop over the spots of unknown spills on the floor (just like the lava game they played in recess!) , they curl up on the stripped bed (the sheets had mysteriously gone missing in the last few hours- probably should close the door next time you leave…) and fall into 12 hour sleep. Nothin’ like college.

On our way to Friday folks, just one more day to go!

Whew -whew!

I don’t have much to say to you besides that… I’m just bored…bum,bum,buuummm….

Yeah, I really don’t want to start my Political Science reading, I didn’t even know about it until last class, apparently we’ve had it since the first day of class. Never heard about it til Wednesday…yeah.

Well here’s some good news, I got a 20/20 on my chemistry online quiz. Online quizzes are great, here’s a little hint for you, next time you take one of those, copy and paste the questions into google search..and press enter. 99.9% of the time the questions are taken from another page or website. Sweet stuff right?

Hey, so MU game Saturday vs. Bowling Green; which begs the question, who the heck is Bowling Green? I don’t know! And what is their mascot? Grass? A bowling ball? A GREEN bowling ball? Curious indeed my friends.

Well, that is all I have for you today my dear readers, sorry that you don’t have anything better to do than read this, haha, okay.

It was a night home with the fam. I was feeling pretty good, enjoying my fortune cookie and beef and broccoli (btw, my fortune cookie said: “Look for purple this week, it will bring you luck” ) and then it struck;

Whew! I thought it must have been some funky Chinese food – you never really know what you consume when you dig into those rectangular little boxes.  I was just sitting at the table when I started a’sweatin’. Nothing like a little red meat to get the blood boiling.

So I decided to lay down; rest my stomach which had just been through the traumatic experience of ingesting large quantities of unknown substances…

Day one:

I felt a little dizzy standing up that morning, and something definitely felt off, maybe it was the curly tail (haha) that had sprang up over night, or perhaps it was the sea sick feeling I felt when moving.

By the time my chemistry lab ended, it was getting difficult to climb up and downstairs (“Lord, this backpack is a lot heavier than it was an hour ago!”) So, I had my boyfirend pick me up and we got some Panera (mmhhhhhh }:) ) and it was delicious…. where was I? Oh yes, lunch…then we went back to his apartment and I fell asleep and had some crazy-ass dreams about chemistry labs and crying about something or another, so needless to say, that sleep sucked and I didn’t feel any better than I did before.

That’s when I called the student health center, several times. Each time I wuld wait on hold for about 30 mintues for the nurse, then I’d realize that my line was dropped and that I’d have to call back YEY again and tell them all my info., student number, date of birth, blood type, favorite movie, etc. and then finally, like the 5th time I called them, they put me through and the nurse was like “Okay, sounds like you have the swine flu, don’t go to classes this week.”

“Really?! Is that it? Guess who’s gonna have swine flu finals weeeek!”

But ,yeah, so my mom wasn’t cool with that little diagnosis so we went to Green Meadows and they did horrible tests on me that proved the swine flu had indeed taken solace in my innards. Fantastic

So then I returned home, in utter woe, what can a poor swine infected girl do all alone, quarantined in her own home for 5 days? Well. write a blog!

Day 2:

Today is day two, glad to say I’m still alive and kicking and can’t figure out why people are so scared of this thing, feels like regular old flu: your body aches like a senior citizen’s and your stomach wants to relive itself of all contents by use of your mouth, ahhh influenza, we meet again.

So here I am, awaiting my passage into acceptance in the real world again, until then I am “That girl with swine flu.”

P.S.   While my mom was getting my meds from Wal-Mart yesterday, this guy pulled up in his car next to mine wearing one of those surgical masks (to avoid swine flu no doubt) little did he know he was about 2 feet away from an infected person! Irony? Indeed.

I think it’s kinda funny actually, how many people I passed in the past couple days, and none of them were the wiser! Poor bloaks, hope I didn’t infect ‘em. : /     Oink  Oink

Like deer in the headlights, or slightly disgusted students in the dank bathroom light, we come to the showers for the first time. Noting the baby-girl-just-brought-home-from-the-hospital pink curtains ( you know, the pink blankets they always wrap babies in?) and the shower heads that are caked in some much lime that it would be a miracle for any water to trickle forth from it’s frosted face. And of course, before entering the cell – er- shower stall that is approximately 2ftx2ft, you notice the questionable green and black goo that lines the cocking between the tiles, praying to god that whatever it is, you wont catch it, and then of course you are bound to observe the odd leftovers from the forebears that came to the stall before you (e.g. used bars of soap, wash clothes, condoms..etc.), and then you understand the reason that NO ONE should EVER enter one of those without shower shoes!

So once you pull up enough courage to enter into the depths of shower hell, or just remove your contacts so you can see little enough of the mess to be legally blind, you close the shower curtain…close the shower curtain…cloooose the shower curtain – but alas! It is 2 inches short of actually covering the entire doorway/opening. So, deciding that you can sneak in a quick shower before anyone else will have time to witness your naked shower-shoe shuffle, you take off everything (robe works best) and awkwardly cover yourself with the curtain as you try to reach across to the far wall where the hooks are located.

Next comes the really interesting part – the act of showering.

In normal circumstances this act would be fairly simple and maybe even enjoyable, but in a college dorm, it is far from such. So, the real fun begins when you attempt to turn on the water, only a few of the spouts work (just like ya thought) and the only two temperatures that the water goes is so-cold-that-you-could-freeze-and-store-raw-meats and so-hot-you-think-your-face-is-going-to-melt-off… a cold shower it is!

This is where the shower-shoe shuffle comes into to play! If you think it’s hard to wash your back without bumping into those walls…god those nasty, scum covered walls…then just wait until you wash those feet! Hope you have a few good years of yoga under your belt or else that will be pretty damn hard!

Okay, so by now you are clean, and suffering from a minor case of hypothermia, so that means it’s time to dry off! Well let me tell you, it’s impossible to get dry without

a. exposing your naked body to any and all unsuspecting bystanders who happen to be using the bathrrom at the same time as you

OR

b. wrapping that disgusting and most likely disease carrying shower curtain around your wet body just one more time!

So if you are like myself, and decide to go with choice b, then you get to do the stretch to that far wall once again and hope that your towel is still hanging and didn’t topple into that gross mess of water and other questionable fluids on the ground below it.

Assuming that it is there, you grab, wrap, and get out of there. Believe me, there is no use even attempting to dress in that bathroom; not unless you are one of those people who doesn’t mind having everyone see your, er, personal matters. But believe you-me, no one wants to share those intimate moment with you, so please, take it to your own room.

And there you have it folks! Shower 411, ’till next time!

It wasn’t the large classes that scared me, getting lost wasn’t much of an issue, and even the class work that is soon coming doesn’t really phase me; but what does is the fact that even though I sat with 500 peers in all 4 courses, I felt utterly alone. I can’t quite describe the fear that bubbled in my stomach as I sat in the auditorium with not a soul talking to me. Friends were paired up on either side and some large groups of students clamored for seats next to each other; which made me wonder, how the hell did they make friends so fast?! Here I am with my phone out, pretending to be busy but really just refreshing my gmail over and over again, and the rest of the crowd is enjoying conversations with their best friends; god, I miss high school…

Finally, in my second massive class, someone introduced themself to me; I was so happy that I finally had a chance to talk to someone! But after the intro, I wasn’t sure how to continue the conversation with them, I didn’t know if they were just passing time by talking to me, as they waited for a friend, or if they were interested in meeting someone new. So I tried to make eye contact with them again, just hoping they might say something else to me so that I’d at least have someone in the class to compare notes with; but how do I make contact with out staring? But at the same time I wanted to catch their attention…but what am I going to say? “So…you like chemistry?”

Needless to say, by the end of the day I forgot all the names exchanged and I feel like a total loser. Welcome to college, freshman.

So here is what I’m going to do, write each day for 15 minutes about a day in the life of a freshman, so my peers can commiserate and I can actually have something to do…

Here’s to four more years.